I got a great e-mail from Vicki today, and totally heard myself in her words. It was therapeutic to write back to her. I recognized that I'm feeling really rather defensive in my exploration of the church's teaching and for what? -no one is attacking!
So, a few resolves as of tonight:
1) I will continue to read Tiber, ready to absorb the learning on the Eucharist.
2) I will meanwhile also pick up a "fun read" - something removed from this topic of church and theology and history and conflict and change - to give me a "break".
3) I will continue to enjoy the other resources Kevin has been sharing. Tonight we heard a speaker's "Primer for Protestants". Good information.
4) I will continue to pray daily about these things, but no longer with a defensive/fearful air. (I gotta calm down a bit and enjoy this journey!)
5) I will no longer lament the decision to stop our old church when we did. We need to be in the Catholic church right now - observing and learning and worshiping God.
So I'm thankful for Vicki for sharing from her heart and being honest with her questions. They are SO similar to mine. And for Kristi who continues to field all my questions, even the most quirky. And for Karen who called tonight and listened and related and enlightened me so much. I was keenly interested to hear specific ways that their (the Earlys) conversion to the Catholic church has blessed their family and deepened their relationships with Jesus. Juleah is co-journeying. Rich and Mark are praying and reassuring. Kevin's my true partner, solid and patient and so freakin' smart. Mom is listening and relating as well. I can't believe how cool God set this all up.