Last night we watched "Luther", the movie about Martin Luther and what his thinking and actions brought about way back in the 1500s. Nothing like a picture of all those years of history to mess up my brain. I finished watching with lots of thoughts that I agreed with him - that scripture should be the foundation of truth, not a pope - not a bunch of men. I also felt bummed about all the corruption in the church. I find myself thinking we have two choices: 1) Join this church run by humans with way more history and therefore way more skeletons in the closet or 2) Join a newer, shinier, church run by humans just waiting to pile up the skeletons in the closet.
Right now (like, as I sit here typing) Kevin is reading Crossing the Tiber and there are lots of references to the Ante-Nicene books. So, I looked 'em up on Amazon - tidy little set of 12 books for $300. if ordered new. Further down the screen I noticed a book for sale claiming to show certain New Testament passages which refute the Ante-Nicene stuff. Ugh!!!
AND, just for a little more blibber-blabber - I asked Kevin a question about purgatory today and he gave me some background but then referred me to Steve Ray's website to read his article on purgatory. So I read it. In my understanding, it sounds like hooey. Sure, fine, it doesn't hurt anything to think there might be this time of preparation before appearing before God - but it doesn't hurt anything to think there might not be. I thought our preparation to meet God was Jesus. Plain and simple. I'm starting to think that if I want to be plain and simple about the gospel, the Catholic Church might not be for me.
At this point, here's what it all comes down to for Kevin and me (in my words):
Kevin: "The Catholic Church is it. Jesus started a church and here it is. I see evidence. This stuff makes sense. Logic, logic, logic."
Teri: "The Catholic Church sure has been around a long time. Hard to argue with thousands and thousands of years. Plus there is much that appeals to me. Longing for tradition here, longing to belong to something bigger than we've found in the past. I like the symbols. I like the ceremony. Emotion, emotion, emotion."
I just have to do some more wading. I'm standing here in a river that's moving pretty fast and is dang deep. And floating by are books and movies and websites and lists of sacraments and conversations and testimonies and RCIA and concerns for my children and countless words to look up and history I never concerned myself with before. Funny thing, as I'm picturing my little river here - where do you think Jesus is in the whole thing? Duh, obviously walking on the water! Where else would he be?